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Educating a Friend

  • Me:

    So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.

  • Guy Friend:

    What's his name?

  • Me:

    I don't know. Frank?

  • Guy Friend:

    No.

  • Me:

    Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?

  • Guy Friend:

    I don't think it really suits him, but okay.

  • Me:

    ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?

  • Guy Friend:

    Do I have any money?

  • Me:

    Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.

  • Guy Friend:

    Duh, I buy him lunch.

  • Me:

    Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--

  • Guy Friend:

    Nah, it's cool.

  • Me:

    Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."

  • Guy Friend:

    What five bucks?

  • Me:

    Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."

  • Guy Friend:

    What? Why would I--

  • Me:

    I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."

  • Guy Friend:

    Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.

  • Me:

    I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"

  • Guy Friend:

    Well, yeah, but...

  • Guy Friend:

    ...

  • Guy Friend:

    ...

  • Guy Friend:

    oh

kiyodono:

I CANT T BELIEV

THEYRE MAKING A KICKSTARTER

WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO FUDN THIS

ALSO THEYRE USING THE FLEXIBLE FUNDING PROGRAM WHICH IS A BIG NONO

USUALLY KICKSTARTERS HAVE A SET GOAL, IN THIS CASE 17 000$ AND IF THEY DONT REACH THIS GOAL AND ARENT ABLE TO FUND THE EVENT,THEN ALL THE MONEY WOULD BE RETURNED TO THE BACKERS WHO MADE A PLEDGE

BUT WITH FLEXFUNDING, THEY GET TO KEEP HOWEVER MUCH THEY MAKE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT IS

SO LETS SAY THAT THEY MIRACULOUSLY REACH ABOUT 15 000$

THEY COULD EASILY SAY ‘WELL ITS NOT 17 000$ SO WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO FUND DASHCON, SO IT’S OFF’

BUT THEY STILL GET TO KEEP THAT MONEY AND DO WHATEVER THEYD LIKE WITH IT

DO NOT FUND THIS

Let’s screw everyone up again!

221b-baker-sweets:

nothingbutacheat:

loki-of-sassgaard:

thedailysuperhero:

When Marvel wants you to play the lead in Guardians of the Galaxy you get ripped. Chris Pratt one year ago compared to now.

Now, how many horrible questions do you think he’s going to get about what foods he misses, or how hard it was to be able to fit into his costume?

#spoilers: none

not entirely true though. he was asked what he cut out of his diet to get that fit, and he spoke the truth

…he looks good either way…

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